13! I CANT believe it!

The many faces of Elijah. Shock.

Chilling.

Thinking, deviously.

Focused- on keeping his saliva off of the cake.
HAPPY 13th Elijah!

Apples, again

The orchard has a bunch of wagons which made the whole thing so easy. This is after our picking.

So many to choose from.

This one looks good.

Hey there cheeks.

Apple Day

Jolie, Willow and I went apple picking at Stoney Hill Orchard last week. It was awesome. The orchard is beautiful and clean and the apples were delish! Willow gorged herself on three apples and I lost count on how many Jolie ate. The apples are low enough so the girls can reach them. They thought it was so cool to pick and then bite.

Buddies.

This is a real big bite, mom.

Willow eyeballing Jolie's apple.

The last of the birthday photos, I promise

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

boing, boing, boing...

Silly aunts!

That swing set was a hit!

More Birthday shots

Willow's very own dolly made by Grandma Barb! Hugs for dolly.

There is an ongoing dolly battle between Jolie and Willow. Willow is always taking Jolie's dollies. FINALLY Willow can lay claim to a cool doll. Notice my hand swiping it away- I wan't trying to be mean. Willow whispered to me to get it back for her:) (Actually Jolie is very kind to Willow and brings her a dolly to play with when she comes over)

Willow's cousins helped her open all her gifts. It was amazing how four (I started typing three then realized that Willow is a toddler now too!) managed to open all the gifts and be kind and take turns. It was actually really fun.

Willow's best big buddy, Elijah. They both had big birthdays this September. Willow turned one and Elijah turned 13.

Big Girl Birthday

Checking out the kids in the bounce house, but not to sure about going inside.

Mmmm.... Beer.

Happy birthday dear Willow, hapy birthday to you.

Watermelon, banana, blueberry and yogurt cake. All of Willow's favorite foods. This expression sums up her mood for the day:(

Happy Birthday to ME!

I know I said on my last post that I figured out how to put many photos on one post, but my computer is so stinking slow that it takes FOREVER to download them. So until I get a new computer I am limited to four photos per post. However, there are just some occasions that are worthy of more than four photos, like Willow's First Birthday! So I apologise ahead of time for the multiple posts, but I know you REALLY want to see these great photos!

This one is of our beauty feeling not so good on her birthday. She was way under the weather and didn't get to show off her adorable personality at her party. But being surrounded by all that love helped her get better real quick.

Is this when they broke the big news?

Grandma Barbara checking out Willow's photo album.

Cutie tootie Noelle:)

My New Swing Set!!!

You will notice that this post has LOTS of pictures. Mama's blog mentor, Dotty, showed her how to get as many pictures on a post as she wants. Thanks Dotty!

After much pondering we finally made the purchase! Papa laid out all the parts and began the LONG process of assembling my swing set. While we waited for it to be put together Elijah took me for a ride...

I tried out the slide and...

played in the sand.When Papa needed our help we gave him a hand . After a REAL long time Mom finally decided where she wanted it set up and Papa had a swing up for me to try.I am a real big girl!

Jolie loves to push me on my swing.

All the kids at my birthday party enjoyed my swing set too!

Thank you for my most awesomest gift Papa and Mamma!

Leaving Comments

Hi Friends and Family- A lot of you are so kind to email us with your thoughts and comments. If you so choose, you can click on the "comment" button below any of the posts and leave a comment. This is probably faster than emailing. If you do not have a Blogger ID, just post as anonymous but write your name in your actual comment so we know who it is from. We love to hear your thoughts and know you are checking us out! Love you all- Kelly

She is not a "good girl"

Who knew praising could come at such a cost?

As a public school teacher I come from the ranks of adults who hand out approval to the many young minds of formless clay, just waiting to be molded into "good children" (note my sarcasm:). Hell, I have even instituted a flip-a-card behavior system and given out pencils inscribed with the saying, I was caught doing something good.

Moments pass me by when I think, "Shame on me for being such a tyrant". And then I remember that it is about the moment at hand, the present. Presently I am learning; I am growing. Good girl is a phrase that I used to think would help a child strive to continue a given behavior. With all that I have recently learned I now shudder when I hear it. Willow is not a good girl. She is much more dynamic, much more complex, and has way more potential than to be praised with a term like good girl.

I have been doing a lot of reading on a site called The Natural Child Project and in the book Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. These resources have opened my eyes up to the effects of praise on children. Don't start cursing me yet- I am not nit-picking or saying that I am a stern faced mama. Quite the opposite. I want Willow to know that my love, support and approval are always there for her. Keep reading and hopefully you will get where I am coming from. The link to The Natural Child Project is a great article that includes a wealth of information. I will share the things that hit home with me as I have read these resources.

1- Praise for developmental milestones such as eating, walking, and going to the bathroom is simply ridiculous. Children are more intellectually advanced then to be trained by praise for biological functions. Pets, on the other hand, maintain a simplicity that warrants praise for such tasks. Don't get me wrong; when Willow started walking I was excited for her. My excitement, however, was expressed as a celebration, not as praise. Walking does not need praise. Willow has the internal motivation to want to continue walking without me telling her that I approve and that she is good because she walks. Was she bad when she scooted on her little bum like a crab who lost a few limbs?

2- Praise as a reward for desired behavior misses the mark. I want Willow to be a kind person because she feels it is right in her heart, not because I will give her a treat or because if she is unkind she will get punished. When it comes to character and moral development, praise is counterproductive. It places the emphasis externally instead of on the internal human component.

3- Praise extinguishes innate desire and thwarts natural choice. I want for Willow what her heart wants. If she likes racing cars instead of doing puzzles then that is what she should do. If I impose with a "I like how you are sitting so nice and doing puzzles" she may look to seek my approval and do the less fulfilling activity, and therefore the activity that offers less growth. While this is a mild example, you can see how it could apply to subjects in school, sport choice, choice of friends, career...

4-Praise makes my love conditional. It says, "When you do X I love you, and when you do Y I my love is questionable." God help me if I ever give Willow this message. I want Willow to know that my love for her is strong when she is happy and sad, mean and kind, when she is clean and when she has a pooooopy foot (thanks Kim!).


Why? Why am I so anal? Why do I delve so deeply into the simple things? Because it is the simple things that are the foundation for us as a whole. Dinner as a family is a simple thing, but it is the foundation for connectedness and communication. Reading stories before bed is a simple thing, but it is the foundation for a life of literacy. When my mom and dad would buy me a Welcome Spring gift every year it was a simple thing, but it was the foundation for my love of nature. Praise may seem like a simple thing, but it is the foundation for an unsure relationship in which a child questions her parents' love and support.

When you are excited for Willow please celebrate WITH her and save the good girl for Abby.

My New Shoes

Now that I am an "official walker" I needed some good walking shoes.

Aunt Sharon brought mama and me to Stride Right to get a cool pair of kicks.

Then Aria and I cruised around the stores and played in the clothes- real real fun!

Thank you, Aunt Sharon!